In truth, I enjoy the kids being active. Not only is it thrilling to watch your child meet or exceed a goal, it is wonderful to become immersed in the community.
As a kid, it's easy to make friends. Not acquaintances, but actual friends. In college, you are constantly surrounded by others just like you, who are prepared to hit the club, to study late into the evening, or to sit around and chat for hours. It's amazingly simple to build relationships. Yet, as an adult, it becomes more difficult. Responsibilities get in the way. There is a balancing act that must happen, which involves juggling a career, kids, cleaning, cooking, managing finances, and a host of other obligations. This leaves little time for friends. What time there is will often be used as unwinding periods. Even if you are lucky enough to find someone that will forgive your forgetting to return a call or having to back out of plans at the last minute because one of the kids has a sudden fever, there is a good chance that your spouses won't hit it off so well.
Thus, childhood athletics are also healthy for the parents, who can use practices and game times to chat with other parents, and to build the bonds of friendship. And, it is all in the name of keeping the kids healthy, active, and entertained.
At the same time, there is a big part of me that condemns myself for getting my kids so involved in sports at such a young age. While I understand that there are health benefits of having them immersed in physical activity on a regular basis, I worry that there is too much pressure placed on kids today. They are made to read earlier, graded at such young ages, and influenced to try everything -- not just one sport, but at least one for every season, plus additional extracurricular activities.
Each of my kids started sports at four years old. Two started in soccer and the third hit the ice for hockey season. It's adorable watching them learn a sport. The scores on the wrong goal, the kids who pick grass instead of chasing the ball, and the domino effect of hockey players falling are hysterical moments to be remembered forever.
Jack took up hockey last year. He's tiny compared to most kids his age, so he was easily the smallest on the ice, which made him a bit timid in scrimmages. They had one game, at the tail end of the season, and a few minutes from the end, he finally worked up the courage to get in the mix of kids and get his stick on the puck. He pushed it toward the sideline, away from the pack, then turned around to the audience to announce "I did it, mom!"
Despite these moments, I am upset when I see my kids getting all worked up because a game was lost, because they didn't score a goal, or because they didn't play as well as a friend. Worse yet, there are the parents who are hollering at their own kids when some perceived mistake is made. We're not talking about kids who are trying out for a varsity team. These are four-, five-, and six year olds. At these games, I've seen parents evicted by the refs, screaming matches in the stands, and kids coming off in tears (including my oldest son). When was it decided that this is healthy for kindergarteners?
Even at seven-, eight-, or nine years old, isn't it a bit much to ask a kid to go to school all week, do homework in the evenings, and then rush out the door for practice multiple times per week, plus games and practices on the weekends?
I do worry about the effect this is having on children, but I also realize that I can't keep them away from it entirely. So, we have established the one sport per season rule. Each kid can select a single, regularly scheduled activity to participate in each season. I commend the parents who urge their children to try as much as possible. I think there is something to be said about that. I’m just not sure how that much activity can be squeezed into an already tight schedule, and how all of that leaves any time for normal childhood play.
As always, we welcome comments, and I am sure that this is a topic that many mothers would love to weigh in about. Not only do I welcome criticism of my view, I would love the advice of mothers who have ‘been there, done that’ and made it out on the other side.
As a kid, it's easy to make friends. Not acquaintances, but actual friends. In college, you are constantly surrounded by others just like you, who are prepared to hit the club, to study late into the evening, or to sit around and chat for hours. It's amazingly simple to build relationships. Yet, as an adult, it becomes more difficult. Responsibilities get in the way. There is a balancing act that must happen, which involves juggling a career, kids, cleaning, cooking, managing finances, and a host of other obligations. This leaves little time for friends. What time there is will often be used as unwinding periods. Even if you are lucky enough to find someone that will forgive your forgetting to return a call or having to back out of plans at the last minute because one of the kids has a sudden fever, there is a good chance that your spouses won't hit it off so well.
Thus, childhood athletics are also healthy for the parents, who can use practices and game times to chat with other parents, and to build the bonds of friendship. And, it is all in the name of keeping the kids healthy, active, and entertained.
At the same time, there is a big part of me that condemns myself for getting my kids so involved in sports at such a young age. While I understand that there are health benefits of having them immersed in physical activity on a regular basis, I worry that there is too much pressure placed on kids today. They are made to read earlier, graded at such young ages, and influenced to try everything -- not just one sport, but at least one for every season, plus additional extracurricular activities.
Each of my kids started sports at four years old. Two started in soccer and the third hit the ice for hockey season. It's adorable watching them learn a sport. The scores on the wrong goal, the kids who pick grass instead of chasing the ball, and the domino effect of hockey players falling are hysterical moments to be remembered forever.
Jack took up hockey last year. He's tiny compared to most kids his age, so he was easily the smallest on the ice, which made him a bit timid in scrimmages. They had one game, at the tail end of the season, and a few minutes from the end, he finally worked up the courage to get in the mix of kids and get his stick on the puck. He pushed it toward the sideline, away from the pack, then turned around to the audience to announce "I did it, mom!"
Despite these moments, I am upset when I see my kids getting all worked up because a game was lost, because they didn't score a goal, or because they didn't play as well as a friend. Worse yet, there are the parents who are hollering at their own kids when some perceived mistake is made. We're not talking about kids who are trying out for a varsity team. These are four-, five-, and six year olds. At these games, I've seen parents evicted by the refs, screaming matches in the stands, and kids coming off in tears (including my oldest son). When was it decided that this is healthy for kindergarteners?
Even at seven-, eight-, or nine years old, isn't it a bit much to ask a kid to go to school all week, do homework in the evenings, and then rush out the door for practice multiple times per week, plus games and practices on the weekends?
I do worry about the effect this is having on children, but I also realize that I can't keep them away from it entirely. So, we have established the one sport per season rule. Each kid can select a single, regularly scheduled activity to participate in each season. I commend the parents who urge their children to try as much as possible. I think there is something to be said about that. I’m just not sure how that much activity can be squeezed into an already tight schedule, and how all of that leaves any time for normal childhood play.
As always, we welcome comments, and I am sure that this is a topic that many mothers would love to weigh in about. Not only do I welcome criticism of my view, I would love the advice of mothers who have ‘been there, done that’ and made it out on the other side.
